How to help a man who works too much

Apr 14, 2021

A home is a place of relaxation, a place to unwind after a tough workday, but what should you do when your husband brings work home with him? A partner can bow to society’s pressure and fail to carve some time to nurture their marriages. Overtime, this becomes so normal, that spouses become desensitized to the toll it is taking on their marriage until it’s too late. Without even realizing it, couples can grow apart and never spend time together due to the husband’s busy schedule. Read on to learn how to cope with a busy man.

Analyze the Situation

If your husband is staying late at work or excessively engaging in or watching sports such as football, you should find out why he opts to stay away from the family for an extended time. First, if you have been married for some time, the chemistry can drift away, and the moment the couple neglects each other, they start to drift apart. Your husband can choose to indulge in sports to pass time at the expense of building a relationship and maintaining a home.

However, some husbands do not stay away due to a drift in the relationship. In some cases, the husband can stay away from the family due to too much work. Your husband could be trying to reach his goals without factoring in your feelings. If a man feels like he is not meeting his ambitions and life goals, he may feel a sense of inadequacy; therefore, stays away from the family and focuses his attention on his work.

How to Help a Man Who Works Too Much

  • Re-attract him

Your man might love to meet his goals, and you can help him by assuring him that he is trying his best. You should not try to punish your husband every time he fails to come home on time. However, you can learn to re-attract him instead of reprimanding him. Positive reinforcement can motivate your husband to act in a given way. You can make him think about how positive it is to be with the family.

Be confident

Even if you feel lonely, it helps if you maintain your self-esteem, which prevents a negative spiral that makes things worse. Although you might start to crave attention, self-confidence can prevent you from looking needy and clingy. You can build confidence by engaging in activities that make you happy. You can develop new hobbies that keep you occupied. Moreover, you can be busier with things that enrich your life. Work on personal and professional goals; the more you enrich your life, the easier it is for your partner to see your worth.

Develop non-verbal messages that will work for your husband

Intimacy without words can inspire your husband to spend more time with you. Your body language can invite a conversation and make your partner see the importance of spending time with you. You should be affectionate while staying positive. You can also maintain eye contact and mirror your husband’s body language, which helps create a bond on a subconscious level, bringing you closer. Other actions can garner your husband’s attention; for instance, holding hands while walking together can help ignite intimacy. Hugging your husband can emphasize the power of affection even when things are tough.

Even when your husband is busy with work and sports, do not feel like you are not attractive anymore as it can result in self-neglect. Do not allow your confidence to diminish, as it can prevent you from making an effort. Instead, you should work on maintaining self-confidence, like doing things that make yourself feel good: going to work out, dressing up, getting your nails done. Your husband will see how you are glowing, and he might start falling in love again with a new and improved version of you.

You can surprise him at work

You know your husband well, and you can take advantage of this by gifting him what he likes. Since he stays at work too long, you can plan a dinner date and book a hotel in advance. Something that will catch him off guard might spark the lost fire in your marriage, and he will be inclined to spend more time with you.

Create a new dynamic that helps you and the partner get on the same page about his presence in the marriage.

You can work on yourself and create a schedule that is conducive to nurturing your relationship. While creating the schedule, it will help to pay attention to the little things that make your daily routines.

You can give him space and avoid complaining;

When you give your husband space, he can clear his mind and see the big picture. If he stays away due to stress, giving him the time will help him find peace before he comes back. Sometimes everyone needs space to align themselves. If he admits that he is stressed, you can ask him to see a therapist who can help with mental issues. You can solve other marriage issues when you see a counselor with him, and he will feel understood.


If he is willing to talk about his personal or work-related struggles, avoid judgments as they create a distance, but it is wise to listen to his concerns. Empathize with him and ask if there is anything you can do to improve the circumstances. Remember communicating with him can help clear any misunderstanding.

The Bottom Line

It is common for a husband to be distant from his wife due to the pressure at work. You can help your husband understand the importance of intimacy and attention in a marriage. It is wise to analyze the situation to prevent overreacting to your husband’s actions. You can empower him by assuring him that he is working well, and he can achieve his goals without creating a distance. It is better to keep a positive attitude, give him space, and maintain a positive mind. You can also work on yourself, which can inspire him to spend time with you. You might also see a marriage counselor who will help bring you closer and make the marriage work.